Dreaming of those productive days...

I'm dreaming of a day when I will be a person who knows how to do everything way in advance. When you're like me and have been pulling all nighters since first year and you're in third year and you still haven't learned the lesson and learned it well, there comes a point in your life where you're like, enough! I need help!


In the past it didn't bother me like it does today simply because my time was consumed with doing nothing anyway so when I had to pull an all nighter it was just sleep that I was missing out on. Now, at this stage of my life when I've decided to seek God and to seek Him with all my heart, when all nighters happen, I'm usually up in the early hours of the morning and knowing the Holy Spirit wants to do and say stuff but no, I'm seriously busy. And Holy Spirit is so gentle, He absolutely gets it... But I can't help thinking that I'd rather be with Him really. Then I get so despondent, I just want to quit my degree and do Jesus! Alas, I've been called for such a time as this to sit on my butt and study so I can be an effective vessel in the Kingdom of God.


To do that, I recognise that this is the time, as much as I have readings to do and assignments to finish, this is the time to build into my future and dig my own wells of Intimacy. I'll never have more time like I do here in university.


So my prayer and commitment are simple: Lord help me order my life. Father, I commit to working hard and using this opportunity you've given me to come here and learn as much as I can. How to pursue You effectively is not something I get right a lot of the time. Teach me to ask the relevant people in my life who are there and want to build with me. Teach me to rely on Your Holy Spirit, teach me also how to do just that, resting and relying on You. I know You speak, teach me how to hear and recognise Your voice all the time. I pray this in Jesus' name.


If you're praying this with me, well alright then, ours is to get up and be good stewards of whatever God's called us to do. For me, it's actually getting stuck in my studies, and stuck in the Word. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.