Loving deeply

I love my friends and family so much. No doubt loving people is one of the overarching themes of my life. The thing is, sometimes I think I love too much. Is that even possible? Leaving friends is the hardest thing to do especially when you form lifelong relationships and then you realise you may be separated indefinitely. What am I getting at you ask, well my heart is sad way ahead of its time about leaving friends again.I got that feeling again yesterday when I was at the church soaking session. His People has become home for me in a way that I have been praying for, not yet to the full extent that I desire, but now even what I have surprises me. I felt such a strong sense of family last night and my mind couldn't help but think, "How am I ever gonnna leave?" God's doing some amazing stuff in our church and I'm so excited to be a part of it, yet I know it's gonna be sort lived for me cos I've been called only for a season here.

Thinking about the prospect of leaving has reminded my heart of how I felt when I left Ellel Ministries towards the end of my gap year in 2007. On one of the last few nights I remember sitting in a cell group meeting where the guys started praying for one of the guys on his birthday. I remember feeling a tangible love in that room that my heart could not believe it was leaving behind soon. The guys started hugging and crying in a non weird way; I've never known or seen so much godly love between guys till that day. I couldn't handle the thought of leaving this place of love and I think my heart nearly broke. Then they made me the sweetest farewell video and threw me a surprise farewell thing where they showed me the video. I've never felt more loved than I did in that room. I could say so much more, but the point I'm making is that last night I almost began to feel that thing again and I seriously don't know how to stop myself from doing life deeply with these people when I know sooner than soon I'll be leaving them behind .... Then again, a part of me says I need to spend as much time as possible getting to know these people before my time is up, and so every time life takes over and I can't do life deeply with someone, my heart gets filled with some sadness.

The up side of this all is that when I move on, I'll love other people just as deeply, but some of these friendships that I've formed with members of this family will be life long and I know that distance makes the heart grow fonder. The best part of it all, even when it hurts to leave, God's been the constant in all my families, past, present and future.

Love